Surviving Thanksgiving – Top Tips for Families

Dreading the holiday? Forced to spend time with the in-laws? Professor Bahira Trask, a Human Development and Family studies expert from the University of Delaware has some top tips to help families survive the annual gathering. She is available for interview. Contact [email protected] to arrange.

Top tips include:

1. Do not raise complex discussions. And, if they come up change the conversation. This is not just a celebration but also a time for everyone to decompress. 2. Focus on the positive side of getting together.

3. Do not stress so much about all the preparations. Take the advice of Julia Child: if some of the food does not turn out perfectly, do not point it out. No one will ever know the difference.

4. Celebrate the fact that you are not alone on the holidays. Loneliness is worse than trying to deal with complicated family members.

5. Be interested in hearing each family member's stories – every one needs and wants to feel valued. This goes a long way to establishing a respectful relationship.

6. Have a separate play area for the children. Allow the adults to talk and not be interrupted all the time; if there are teenagers helping out, let them have turns with the kids and the adults.

7. Do not constantly check your phone for messages; focus on those who you are with.

8. Plan in some "fun" group time – charades, a group game, having each family member tell a special anecdote from that year. Build that into a permanent family tradition. This gives everyone something different to think about.

9. If someone is still being very quarrelsome and someone "bites,” take that person aside and help them calm down.

10. Remember the spirit of why you are together and remind everyone of the purpose of the holiday. Just think, you could all be at work!