How does cyber bullying differ from their face-to-face counterparts? In what ways do teenagers on the receiving end of bullying process the experiences? At The Family Institute, an organization committed to strengthening and healing families from all walks of life through clinical service, education and research, mental health clinicians consider these questions as they treat their adolescent clients and their families.
“While social media can serve to augment peer relationships in adolescence, it can also provide a forum for negative exchanges that can be quite hurtful,” says Hollie Sobel, PhD, a Family Institute clinician who specializes in treating adolescent clients and their families. “Teenagers can’t emotionally process these painful experiences in the same way they do their face-to-face equivalents. There aren’t the same opportunities to work it out online.”
Hollie Sobel, PhD, lists a number of ways in which these online bullying experiences are different from those that happen in high school cafeterias or at parties. For example, often the offender is anonymous, and could potentially be someone whom the victim considers to be a friend. This can increase fear, frustration and feelings of powerlessness. Additionally, online the victim can’t see or feel the responses of people who may come to his/her aid, rendering that aid less resonant. And while there is a lack of authority to step in, the quick pace and lack of personal contact involved in cyber bullying allows for more people to join in the taunting in active ways they may not do in person, while making them less likely to step in and help as people often assume someone else will defend the victim. Negative statements made on-line are more pervasive than those made in person, with little escape, and can involve images and/or video that can be more invasive than face-to-face taunting.
In addition to these nuances, it’s important to note that teenagers often do not believe that authority figures can help. “Many of my clients think their parents or teachers will make the situation worse by bringing more attention to it,” says Dr. Sobel, who runs a therapy group for adolescents at The Family Institute in Evanston, IL. “Teens may not appreciate how beneficial parental support can be, and instead turn to their friends who are not qualified to assist. I tell parents to continue providing emotional support and I’ve never told a parent to stop monitoring their kids’ online activities. It’s important to stay engaged.”
Recognizing these nuances is important to help teenagers cope with cyber bullying. At The Family Institute, Dr. Sobel considers these issues as she provides teenagers with the strategies and skills they need to cope with these experiences, as well as the issues of self-esteem, family relationships, peer pressure and friendships so common in adolescence. For more information about issues in adolescent cyber bullying, Hollie Sobel, PhD, the Adolescent Group Therapy Program, or The Family Institute, please contact Colleen O’Connor at 312-609-5300, ext. 485 or [email protected].
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