Newswise — As kids make their way back-to-school, incidents of bullying will inevitably arise. Whether you’re the new kid at school or a past victim, there are many steps that can be taken to avoid or stop bullying, says Sally Black, Ph.D., an assistant professor of health services at Saint Joseph’s University.
“Kids should never fight back,” warns Black. “Bullies are manipulative and will persuade adults that the victim is the aggressor, which may result in suspension or expulsion for the victim.”
She suggests that victims should take simple steps like sitting near the front of the bus, staying with a group of friends, or avoiding areas where there are few involved adults.
“There are many things kids can do to build self-confidence, too,” according to Black. “Developing a skill or talent helps kids feel less alone. Kids should also make friends who will stand up against bullies. One way to do this is to be a friend to others who are bullied and defend them.”
As for parents and school administrators, Black says to look for the warning signs. “Kids who are bullied are lonely, often afraid to ride the bus or leave school, complain of headaches and stomach aches, and have trouble sleeping, to name a few symptoms,” says Black. “And if you suspect bullying, ask,” she adds. “Sixty percent of victims report bullying to a parent.”
She also notes that many adults make common mistakes when dealing with incidents of bullying. Taking a zero tolerance approach and punishing harshly teaches children to be intolerant and discourages reporting, says Black. She notes that suspension and expulsion model social exclusion and should only be used as a safety precaution, not punishment. It’s also important for adults not to use bullying to reach the desired outcome, and inadvertently model bullying.
“Adults need to gather details, ask for the victim’s input in how the situation is handled, form a safety plan, and provide a safe place for the victim to retreat,” Black concludes. “And don’t tell kids to ignore bullies. That only sends the message that bullying is normal and okay.”
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