Newswise — In the nuclear family of the 50s, if someone got sick or died, everyone knew their place at the hospital or funeral home. But, in today's world of single parent, blended, step and half sibling and parent households, the lines are fuzzy, people can be cruel and children sometimes don't get a chance to say goodbye.
Diana Nash, a professor of psychology at Marymount Manhattan College and a counselor specializing in grief and bereavement, has begun research on what she calls "shut outs" --the individuals, usually the ex-spouses and first children of the deceased, who get left out of an illness and funeral because the new family doesn't want them around.
"Imagine how a child might feel not being able to say goodbye or express their grief at a parent's funeral or an ex-spouse who, regardless of the split, might need to grieve themselves or be there for their children. Imagine the emotions the new family might experience with the additional burden of the exes being around during their time of grief. This is a horrible set of modern-day circumstances that can and should be managed with care so as not to lead to a much lengthier and less healthy grieving process," said Nash.
For stories about this topic, Nash can discuss:"¢ Anecdotes from her research on the pain and long-term effects of being "shut out" "¢ Tips on how to avoid this type of situation starting with discussions before anyone ever gets sick or suddenly dies "¢ Tips on what to do and how to handle the grief if you were, or are currently being, shut out
In addition to her position at Marymount Manhattan College, Nash runs a private practice specializing in loss and bereavement issues in New York City and conducts workshops around the world. She received the College's Faculty Tribute Award in 1996 and is also listed in Who's' Who Among American Teachers. She earned a master's degree in counseling psychology from New York University. As a fellow certified in Thanatology and Bereavement, she is a member of the Association of Death Education and Counseling, the America Psychological Association and the American Counseling Association.
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