Newswise — The Thanksgiving turkey's dry. The cranberry sauce comes from a can. And to add insult to injury, you are supposed to give thanks for this meal?
You will if you know what's good for you, say mental health experts.
Being thankful or grateful encourages people to think more positively about themselves, their lives and the people around them. Research even shows that gratitude may extend your life.
"Gratitude allows you to take good things in," says Lisa Lewis, PhD, director of psychology at The Menninger Clinic in Houston and an associate professor in the Menninger Department of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences at Baylor College of Medicine. "Often good things happen, and we aren't very mindful when they happen. We get compliments and we brush them off. We get a promotion and all we think about is how stressful it is going to be. Our children go to college and all we can think about is how lonely we are going to be. Gratitude helps us appreciate what we have."
Dr. Lewis is researching positive psychology in group therapy at The Menninger Clinic, based on the research of University of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin Seligman, PhD, one of the founders of the positive psychology movement. The study's goal is to help patients with mental illness focus on what's right about themselves as well as wrong, and to build a reserve of positive experiences and emotions.
Exercises in the study encourage expressing gratitude to build positive feelings and foster positive emotion.
One such exercise is called the gratitude letter and visit. Patients pick a person who has influenced them and write a letter to that person, including details about how that person has had an impact on their lives. Any person, not just patients with mental illness, can benefit from sending a gratitude letter, Dr. Lewis says. The key is to be specific.
"You don't just want to say, 'You are a wonderful person and I want to thank you,'" Dr. Lewis says. "Think of the things you have done together and what he or she has done for you or with you. Then you call them up and ask to see them. When you visit, you read the letter out loud. It is very powerful experience."
Dr. Lewis also recommends another gratitude exercise developed by Dr. Seligman called "Three Good Things and Sweet Dreams." Each night before you go to bed, write down three things for which you are grateful. They can be simple, for example, you might be glad that you saw a Monarch butterfly. Also write down what about you contributed to that good thing. For example, you saw the Monarch butterfly because you were mindful of your surroundings.
Dr. Lewis says Thanksgiving is a natural time to express our thanks and establish a ritual of giving thanks for the past year.
"Before you dig into the turkey and stuffing, you could all go around the room, and each person could say what they are grateful for," Dr. Lewis says. "It doesn't have to be something spectacular. You can be grateful that you can breathe. You can be grateful that you have food to put on the table. You can be grateful for the simple things, for everyday life. That is really the key."
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