TCKs grow up world-wise in a global society

December 31, 1997

Contacts:
Jean Kempe-Ware, director of public relations, Lewis & Clark College, (503) 768-7963, [email protected]

Greg Caldwell, associate dean of international students, Lewis & Clark College, (503) 768-7304, [email protected]

TCKs grow up world-wise in a global society

PORTLAND, Ore.--In Tanzania, people thought of Mariah Fairley as "the American."

"They told me I would know I was American when I moved to the states," Fairley recalls. "But I don't feel American."

Born in Montana, she is American. At least that's what her passport says. But when she was five she moved to Tanzania, where she lived most of her life--except for the time she lived in Honduras.

Fairley's parents are part of the rapidly growing global work force. Her father teaches mathematics and computers, and her mother works as a guidance counselor at an international school in Tanzania.

Fairley, a sophomore majoring in sociology and anthropology, knows Swahili, English and some Spanish. She can talk about global events and world geography.

"But I didn't grow up on television culture. I don't know words such as 'right on,' 'dude,' 'sweet,' and 'rad.' Voice mail is completely foreign to me. And I didn't know how to open a bank account."

With one foot in America and another in Tanzania, Fairley feels neither American nor Tanzanian. "I don't fit in anywhere in the world," she rues.

Like 75 other Lewis & Clark College students, Fairley is a global nomad...a Third Culture Kid (TCK). At Lewis & Clark they have their own network--The TCK Club--to talk, to support each other, to dine together at ethnic restaurants, to find out that they aren't alone...that others share similar experiences.

"I don't have to explain my whole history for them to understand," Fairley says. "We can talk about the problems we have and what's strange about all those Americans."

Different inside

Who are TCKs? They are young people who have spent their formative years outside their passport country--U.S. or otherwise, explains Greg Caldwell, associate dean and director of international student services. Their parents may be teachers or missionaries, foreign service workers or military officers, foreign correspondents, or employees of international businesses and multinational corporations.

On the average, TCKs live in six different countries before they reach 18 years old. They are usually bilingual, frequently multilingual, and they know a lot about international travel.

They gradually develop a cultural identity different from that of their parents and different from that of the country in which they live.

"They may be homesick, but they don't know where home is," Caldwell says. "They may speak fluent English. Sometimes they even look very American, and Americans tend to think TCKs are just like them. But TCKs are very different inside."

"We aren't international students. But when we get here, we realize we aren't American students either--at least we're not as American as we thought we were," says Sara Tesorieri, coordinator of TCK meetings and outings.

Tesorieri, a sophomore majoring in international affairs, wears jeans and speaks English without a hint of an accent. She carries dual citizenship--U.S. and Italian--but has lived in the United States less than four years.

Her mother, Leeann Loveless Tesorieri '70-72, an American, met her father, Franco Tesorieri, an Italian, on a Lewis & Clark overseas study program in Italy. Her father organizes fashion shows throughout the world.

"Travel is important to our family," Sara Tesorieri emphasizes.

The Tesorieris have lived in Italy and Bahrain, and have visited Japan, Hong Kong and most of Europe. They travel to Mexico every year.

It's a life that some may envy but that's difficult to fully comprehend.

Tesorieri may not think of herself as entirely Italian, but in many ways she views American culture as foreign.

"Who on earth are the Smurfs?" she asked when she came to the United States. "What about 'Happy Days' or 'Scoobie Doobie Do'? And what about high school assemblies?"

"Now, that's really American," Tesorieri says. "What a shock. Americans go to their high school assemblies to see who can yell the loudest. It's really interesting to observe. It's very tribal."

And she's appalled--as are many TCKs--at the way Americans eat.

"Americans don't take eating seriously," she notes. "Italians sit down with their families to a multi-course dinner with wine. And if you're not home for dinner, you better have a good excuse."

She confides that half of her dorm room is filled with cooking equipment. International citizens

Not all TCKs carry an American passport.

Pavel Krumkatchev, for example, was born in Russia. But for 10 years he lived in Kenya, where his father works for the United National Environment Program. Krumkatchev speaks Russian, English and Swahili.

"The TCK group is a good group," he says. "It helps to know people who have the same problems you do. Hardly any of us have a sense of identity. I can't identify with Russia or with Kenya. It's nice to know people who have similar experiences and who know a lot about different countries."

"No matter where we have lived, the one thing we have in common is that we are 'international,'" says Min-Ah Cho, a sophomore, who considers majoring in international affairs.

Cho carries a Korean passport, but she grew up in Japan, where she attended international school from the time she entered nursery school through high school. Her father is a photographer and a businessman.

Cho spoke Korean at home, Japanese outside the house and English in class. As a child, her parents taught her to appreciate Korean culture, but she had no Korean classmates.

"TCKs are used to being around people from many different cultures and races," Cho says. "We all come from different countries. I feel more comfortable in a mixed group."

Jayanti (Jenny) Chugani, a senior majoring in international affairs, was amazed at first when she found that Americans travel between states without passports. She had never traveled without one.

Chugani was born in India. Her mother grew up in Saigon, and her father, a businessman in Taiwan, was born in Pakistan, but they married in Hong Kong. The family moved to India and then to the Philippines, traveled to Hong Kong and Japan and even lived in the United States for a year. But when Chugani thinks of home, she thinks of Taiwan. When she thinks of identity, she thinks of India.

"Students from India look at me and tell me I'm not Indian. It bothers me, because I am Indian," she says. "It's just that my home is in a different place. Most people just don't have the best of all worlds, like I do."

Chugani speaks English and Chinese fluently. Her first words were spoken in Tagalog. She also understands some Hindi, speaks Sindhi and is now learning Japanese.

"I love meeting new people, seeing new places, trying new food," she says. "But it's a lot more fun when you know the language of the country. People drop their mouths when you can babble to them in their own language."

Jacqueline (Jackie) Chou, a communications major, was born in Taiwan. Her father, a journalist, brought the family to the United States when she was four. Chou moved six times before sixth grade. By the time she moved back to Taiwan at the age of 15, her English was better than her Chinese. So she enrolled in the international school in Taiwan.

"When the TCKs first get together at the beginning of the year, you can see relief come over their faces as they hear the stories of their fellow TCKs," Caldwell says. "They see others who have lived everywhere."

Chou remembers thinking to herself as she listened to juniors and seniors share their experiences: "'Someone understands. They've been through it.'

"We all help each other," she says. "Now, I'm okay on my own." Observers

Cho felt a bit intimidated when she first came to the United States. "It helped me feel more secure to find people with similar experiences."

"Americans seem so sure of themselves," Cho notes. "They voice their opinions strongly, whereas I think I try to accept as many different views as possible. I'm used to observing and then trying to fit in."

"In our Inventing America class, our teachers would have to make us talk. I did much better on the written essays," Fairley says. "To survive moving around the world, I have to observe what's going on. I have to figure out why people are the way they are and accept that. I don't have a choice. I can't say, 'You're wrong.' I can't get stuck in my ways."

"That's the reason," Caldwell notes, "that TCKs make good mediators and negotiators."

Chugani describes herself as accepting and appreciative, and views some Americans as a bit spoiled because they haven't been exposed to places of extreme poverty or of non-western cultures.

"Americans go to the supermarket and have so many choices," she says, "and they still find reasons to complain."

"We may seem aloof or snobbish," Tesorieri says. "We don't mean to offend. You might catch me saying 'in Italy we do it this way.' But it's not meant as a criticism. It's meant as an observation." Itchy feet

TCKs also thrive on travel. In fact, the more they've traveled, the more they want to travel. That's what attracts TCKs to Lewis & Clark.

Chugani praises Lewis & Clark's overseas study programs.

"The College's overseas study programs are excellent," Tesorieri agrees.

Mention the future, and it almost always includes travel.

"I can't imagine living one place all my life," Tesorieri says. "I assume I'll move frequently. I love to go into new situations where I'm an alien. Quite a few of us feel that way."

Chugani talks about her internal clock: "Every six months I just have to get up and leave a place."

So she spent winter break in Taiwan.

"It's hard for me to stay in the states this long," Fairley says.

Fairley is participating this semester in Lewis & Clark's overseas study program to Ecuador. She later plans to take a leave of absence from Lewis & Clark to work at the Bahai World Center in Israel, to complete her degree and return to Tanzania to work in development.

Chugani plans to pursue graduate studies in Mandarin Chinese in Taiwan and then to teach in India.

Chou will participate in Lewis & Clark's overseas study program to Scotland next fall, where she intends to apply for an internship with British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC). Then she plans to pursue graduate studies in communications in the United States.

They live interesting lives. But life as a TCK is not without its down side. TCKs often feel uncomfortable with long-term relationships and protect themselves from getting close to people, Caldwell points out.

"American students think their relationships will last forever," Tesorieri says. "They talk about the future. We always assume that our situation is temporary. All we know is now. Many of us never learn to take a relationship past a certain point."

"Due to constant packing up and moving every few years, I find it difficult to establish close, long-term relationships," Chugani says.

"You get close to people, and brace yourself when they leave," says Chou, who counts friends throughout the world. "It's really hard. I'm always missing someone."

The one constant in the lives of TCKs is their families. Parents don't divorce. Most families are intact. TCKs have close relationships with their parents and are wont to describe home as wherever their parents live--even if they've never been there themselves.

And TCKs say they want to raise their own children just as they were raised.

"I want my children to grow up as I did in another culture, to attend international schools, to meet all kinds of people," Chugani says. "Then, if they want to come to the United States on their own, that's fine, too."

"If I raise kids, I will raise them in Asia--Singapore or Taiwan," Chou says. "I want my kids to go to international schools."

"If my parents did one thing right, it was to raise me in another country," Fairley adds. "It broadens your mind, multiplies your understanding and makes you able to accept other cultures and the oneness of humanity."

"We have traveled widely. We have lived all over the world," Tesorieri reflects. "Most TCKs do all right." Jim Laden, former director of career services at Lewis & Clark, agrees. "TCKs have many of the skills today's employers seek," he says. "They have language skills, cultural sensitivity, and they are able to read clues in another environment. I see businesses offering all kinds of seminars to train people to become international representatives," he says. "TCKs have those skills as a natural part of their lives." He also notes a less tangible quality, the ability to make riskier career decisions. "Their eyes are a little more open to the opportunities available to them," Laden says. No wonder more than one international representative calls these global nomads "citizens for the 21st century."