TOYS FOR GIRLS, TOYS FOR BOYS: PSYCHOLOGIST GIVES DEVELOPMENTAL DOS AND DON’TSPre-school girls are more likely to head toward the play kitchen and boys are more likely to pick up the toy trucks, says Deborah Best, professor of psychology at Wake Forest University. So, is it a mistake to buy “girl” toys for girls and “boy” toys for boys? “Yes and no,” says Best, a developmental psychologist who studies gender roles and young children. “Children naturally gravitate to gender-appropriate toys, but playing with other-gender toys may teach new skills. But, they need exposure to ‘girl’ toys, ‘boy’ toys and gender-neutral toys to gain experience that will encourage them to play across boundaries.
Too much same-gender play may narrow children’s cognitive, social and motor skills. Girls may refine gross motor skills playing with trucks. Boys may improve their fine motor skills playing with typical girl toys, such as buttoning doll clothing. Children learn nurturing and caretaking behaviors from taking care of dolls, pets or younger siblings. If you want boys to learn those behaviors, parents should provide opportunities.” Best encourages parents to provide “spatial toys” such as puzzles for girls to help develop their ability to manipulate objects. She also says the most important mistake parents make is to give the same sorts of toys over and over. Stretch the child’s interest, and think about the educational aspects of the toys. Make sure they encourage creativity.
STRENGTHENING CONNECTIONS BY SHARING FAMILY HISTORY During the holidays, Wake Forest University Professor of Counseling Samuel Gladding and his family will walk through the “hall of remembrance” at their home. Hanging on the walls are the picture collages Gladding and his wife have created for every year since they’ve been married. The collages include highlights from each year: trips, soccer games, plays, family outings. Why is sharing family history at this time of year so important? Gladding, who has written several books on family counseling, says, “it strengthens individuals and it strengthens families. If you know the past, you are much more likely to benefit from it and be inspired or determined to make the future better or at least as good as the past.” When families gather for the holidays, Gladding says it can be the perfect opportunity to share family stories that will benefit younger and older generations. Focusing on lessons learned is important,” Gladding says. He can share ideas for how to encourage making the most of storytelling at family gatherings.
GETTING AND GIVING: ENCOURAGING GENEROSITY DURING THE HOLIDAYSAs the holidays approach and children are bombarded with advertisements for new toys and encouraged to acquire more and more possessions, parents look for ways to shift children’s focus from getting to giving. “Simply ask, ‘What are you giving for Christmas?’ to help balance all the, ‘What do you want for Christmas?’ messages,” says Donna Henderson, professor of counseling at Wake Forest University and an expert on counseling elementary through high school students. “The joy of the holiday season is sharing and giving,” Henderson says. “In meaningful ways, what kinds of things can they give? When asking for their wish lists, you can also give them your wish list with things like: clean dishes for a day, make a new drawing to put on the refrigerator or something else that the child can do for you or make for you.”
VIDEO GAMES AND CHILDREN: HOLIDAY TIPS FOR PARENTSAs video games get more and more realistic, research shows the effects on children increase, says Marina Krcmar, an associate professor of communication at Wake Forest University who researches video games and violence. She says one of the effects of greater realism can be increased aggression. Krcmar encourages parents to be more aware of content when purchasing games during the holiday season and offers advice for parents when video games are on family wish lists. Look beyond the official ratings The T-rating and M-rating for video games are not very consistent and not very informative for parents, so parents need more information she says.
• Don’t trust the marketers. Many games that are marketed to kids are completely inappropriate for them. She recommends finding out as much as you can about content from as many independent sources as possible.• Look for strategy games instead of “first-person shooter” games. First-person shooter games involve a complete immersion in a realistic violent world where shooting people results in rewards. Krcmar recommends strategy games instead. Finding good ones takes more effort because they are not marketed as well as some of the more violent games. • Pay attention after the new video games are unwrapped. Set up game systems in family living spaces. Talk to your kids about the games they are playing. Set up game systems in family living spaces.
HAPPIER HOLIDAYS FOR DIVORCED PARENTS AND THEIR CHILDRENPlanning ahead and staying positive are the keys to happier holidays for divorced parents and their children, says Christy Buchanan, associate professor of psychology at Wake Forest. Work out holiday plans as far in advance as possible, so children and parents will know what to expect, says Buchanan, co-author of the book “Adolescents after Divorce.”
She offers the following suggestions:• Be flexible and creative in coming up with new traditions• Let children have input• Show respect for the ex-spouse and refrain from saying anything negative• Don’t be defensive if a child wants to spend time with the other parent• Don’t be home alone for the holidays. Make plans with others if your children will be with your ex-spouse.
KEEP HOLIDAY CHEER ALL YEARAfter weeks of humming holiday songs, decorating the house with cheer and planning for a joyous celebration, the holiday season inevitably will come to an end. Even the most cheerful person can slip into a funk after the big event has come and gone.
Wake Forest University Assistant Professor of Psychology Christian Waugh studies human emotions and why some people are more resilient in maintaining positive emotions than others. Waugh’s research suggests three tips to keep the excitement and joy of the holidays all year long. He is available for interviews in advance of Thanksgiving and for future Christmas stories.
Waugh’s advice to keep holiday cheer all year:• Plan Ahead—Deliberately plan a combination of big events and small celebrations throughout the year. Everyone gets excited for big vacations, but don’t forget the joy of a simple Friday night with friends, or watching a baseball game on TV. • Get Excited—Let yourself look forward to the fun to come and feel good about a positive experience just around the corner. Waugh says the stress that comes from planning an event is to be expected but should not overshadow the joy of anticipation. “Research shows that resilient people are marked by the ability to recognize that stress and excitement can, and likely will, occur at the same time.”• Savor the Moment—Switch out of planning mode long enough to appreciate the experience you have been anticipating. Immerse yourself in the moment. “Take a deep breath and switch your focus away from the work that led up to the celebration and forget about what comes next,” Waugh says. “Have fun. Then start looking forward to playing with that new toy or using your gift card on something exciting.”
RSS