July 15, 1998
Contact:
Jean Moore, (615) 322-NEWS
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Preparation, Monitoring Essential When Leaving Children Home Alone
NASHVILLE, Tenn. - Parents of young adolescents may be tempted to bypass after-care programs and allow their children to fend for themselves for the couple of hours between the end of school and the time parents return home from work. But a pair of psychologists at Vanderbilt University agree that it's not a good idea to leave youngsters unsupervised. "Eleven-, 12- and 13-year-old kids do not need to be wandering around alone," says Steve McFadyen-Ketchum, a clinical psychologist with more than 30 years of experience. "Pre-adolescents are at a lot more risk than people may realize for sexual behavior, drug abuse -- including alcohol and cigarettes. And we have a high rate of involvement in the drug trade among children of that age." Kathleen Hoover-Dempsey, an associate professor of psychology and of education, believes every child still living at home needs some supervision. "But the amount and type of supervision each child needs varies depending on age, their developmental level and their individual characteristics," she says. Parents should begin preparing children early on to accept responsibility for their actions, then gradually give them opportunities to exercise their independence, she advises. They can start creating opportunities for "supervised independence" for children as young as 4. For example, they might ask a child to turn off the television after a program is over and set the table for dinner. "It's very important for parents to observe the choices their children make and provide feedback about why those choices were appropriate," Hoover-Dempsey says. "It's a gradual process, and it takes time. Kids will make mistakes, but it's crucial that parents help them understand the consequences of their actions -- why not taking the responsible path creates problems for them, for you and for the family." (more) When children are a little older, usually at about age 8 or 9, parents can try leaving them alone in the house for very short increments - perhaps running next door for 15 minutes or working out in the yard for a half-hour. Prepare the children by practicing what they will do if various situations arise - if the telephone rings or if someone comes to the door.
Both experts agree that close parental monitoring, even if by telephone, is critical for children of all ages. "They need that sense of Mom or Dad being there, wanting to know what's happening, and being accessible for questions that come up," says Hoover-Dempsey Younger children may need such reassurance more frequently, she notes, but older kids can be instructed to check in with a parent at predetermined intervals or as the need arises. Then, as the child demonstrates competence, parents can gradually loosen up. Many children will resist close monitoring, but McFadyen-Ketchum says it's a mistake for parents to give in. "Parents need to know where their children are, what they are doing and who they are with. It's in their best interest," he says. "In all my years of practice I've never had a child seriously misbehave who was properly monitored by his or her parents. There is a much lower level of at-risk behavior including delinquency, drug abuse and car wrecks." The other crucial element is the availability of immediate on-site supervision by a neighbor or close relative in case of an emergency. "They need to know that someone is accessible, at least until they are old enough to drive," says Hoover-Dempsey. -VU-
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