Newswise — Sue was excited. She was en route to her home in Pennsylvania to spend Christmas with her widowed, 85 year old mom in the old family home.
As she approached her "old" street in the rented car, she gazed at the street ahead. There were so many memories. Sue hadn't seen her mom since her 40th class reunion, 6 months earlier. Sure, they spoke several times each week. Mom always sounded like "mom" . She reported that she was just fine and she was managing well. Sue would have loved it if her mom would consider a computer with a video cam, so she could actually see her, Gary, and the kids. But there would be no new fangled inventions for this mom.
As she turned into the driveway, Sue noticed Mom's good old blue Buick. On closer inspection, there were some unsightly dents on the driver's side fender. She wondered what that was about as she approached the door.
After about 6 rings of the doorbell, Sue anxiously called her mother's telephone number with her cell phone. Her mom answered the phone after 3 rings. When asked about the lack of response to the doorbell, mom stated that she must have been preoccupied.
Sue took in the sights, smells, and sounds of her childhood home. The old furniture remained the same, but there was an ominous sight before her eyes. Instead of the usual neatness, there were piles of magazines and papers. The house also had an odd smell. There was disinfectant covering up something that she feared to think about. Looking for a cold drink in the fridge, she was shocked to discover its emptiness. There were TV dinners in the freezer, but the usual containers of freshly prepared meals were missing. And then there was the "junk" mail consisting of many charitable and political organizations. Sue was amazed at the quantity. Who was her mom sending money to?
Sue's experience is not unique. Thousands of out of town Baby Boomers visit aging parents over the holidays, only to find changes that are hard to comprehend. What does Sue need to do now that she see these changes. Once her brain takes a moment to assimilate the new circumstance, what should she do now? What to do When You Have Concerns About Aging Parents During Visits:
1. Talk to neighbors.
Long standing neighbors often can convey first hand information about the changes that they have witnessed over time. 2. Call friends and any family nearby for more information
3. Speak to clergy if your parent is a regular churchgoer
4. Call your parent's primary physician for data and a consultation
5. Review medications and determine if they are being taken properly
OBTAIN PROFESSIONAL HELP
Sue needs to be able to return to her family. She also needs to establish a plan of care for her mom so that she has some level of peace of mind. Living far away and caring for a loved one alone is not possible. What is this woman to do?
Luckily, there is a profession of individuals whose mission is to help the Sue's of this world. The National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers consists of certified care managers who are experts in the issues of aging. As social workers, counselors, nurses, and other related professionals, they are available 24/7. And most importantly, they know just what to do. They can be your eyes and ears and guide you through the process ahead with skill, compassion, and insight.
About the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers (NAPGCM)
NAPGCM was formed in 1984 to advance dignified care for older adults and their families in the United States. The association currently boasts a membership of over 2,000 care managers. Professional Geriatric Care Managers (PGCMs) are professionals who have extensive training and experience working with older people, people with disabilities and families who need assistance with care giving issues. They assist families in the search for a suitable nursing home placement or extended care if the need occurs. The practice of geriatric care management and the role of care providers have captured a national spotlight, as generations of Baby Boomers age in the United States and abroad. For more information please visit http://www.caremanager.org or call 520.881.8008.
Individuals may obtain the free brochure "Questions and Answers When Looking for a Geriatric Care Manager," on the NAPGCM web site at: http://www.caremanager.org and then click on "About Your Care Manager." Individuals looking for a Professional Geriatric Care Manager in their local area may visit www.caremanager.org and may use the searchable directory that is located in the "Find a Care Manager" section.
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