Parents don't have to worry about the adverse affects of gamma radiation unleashing their teenager's bouts of anger and emotional stress. Hormones and rebellion can accomplish that faster than the 25 seconds to five minutes it takes Bruce Banner to turn into the Hulk.
But as the 1,500 pounds of unrepressed rage and fury, otherwise known as The Hulk, opens in theaters across the country, parents can use the movie to introduce anger management to their teenage children.
"Helping adolescents and young children appropriately express anger does not mean that you are encouraging them to stifle their emotions," said Dr. Peter L. Stavinoha, a neuropsychologist at Children's Medical Center of Dallas. "Kids learn how to deal with anger and disappointment by watching those around them and parents are first-in-line role models, whether or not they realize their kids are paying attention to parents' behaviors."
By adolescence children should have a cognitive sense of what's appropriate and not, he said. However, as hormones, peers and the need to demonstrate independence start to influence behavior, teenagers too can start behaving like the large green beast of movie and television fame.
"Adults shouldn't take teens' emotional highs and lows personally," Stavinoha said. "You have to remember, it's kind of like their developmental job to behave as they sometimes do and it is a part of growing up. The teen years are when children start to assert their individuality and rebelliousness, stubbornness, arguing and digging in of heels is a misguided effort to assert their independence."
However, Stavinoha said, it's up to adults to help children appropriately express anger or disappointment by primarily acting as role models and offering alternative responses to anger and disappointment instead of delineating what they can't do. Those alternative behaviors may include developing a mutually agreed signal that says, "I need time out to talk," or writing in a journal, taking a walk, or relaxation techniques like counting to 10 and taking deep breaths to maintain calmness.
Other anger management skills parents and teenagers can practice, according to Stavinoha:* Start anew. If you can't get through an emotional impasse, let it go and discuss the situation the next day. It's a chance to start with a clean slate and another chance practice good behavior.
* Modeling behavior. Family members are role models, but teens may be more strongly influenced by peers and pop culture trends. Monitor who and what might be influencing a teen's behavior.
* Reinforce appropriate anger expression. If a child deals with frustration and anger in an acceptable way, the effort should be recognized. Never reward inappropriate expressions of anger.
* Acknowledge and label feelings. They may not acknowledge their anger and may likely grumble "nothing" or "I'm fine" under their breath, but it's helpful to talk and tell them you clearly see something is bothering them. It's important to not let emotions build up.
* Negotiate. Negotiating through an impasse shows a teenager how to deal with conflict and illustrates differences can be resolved without ending up in a fight.
* Use effective punishment. Punishment for inappropriate behavior should be relatively short term, but potent so that it means something to the child. However, stress alternatives to bad behavior.
* Express the need to work it out now. Frame issues in black and white terms. Encourage a child to express anger and be non-judgmental. Give a sense that talking it out can help resolve situations quickly.
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