FROM FAMILY TIME TO FILMS, SIT-DOWN DINNERS TO SIT-UPS, SHOPPING TO JOB HUNTING, EXPERTS CAN ADDRESS HOLIDAY ISSUES
It's time"¦for the holidays and all of the issues that come with them--family gatherings and meals, college freshmen (and their laundry) returning home, toy shopping, bargain hunting, catching a blockbuster film, staving off holiday pounds, maybe even finding a new job.
Temple University experts are at the ready to offer their insights on these and other holiday-related topics. Time for family
Surviving family gatherings
So you'd love for this to be the year that your holiday family celebration looks, and feels, like a Norman Rockwell painting"¦for the first time ever?
Resolve that you'll make the holiday a time to truly enjoy your family--and then realize that doing so takes focus and compromise, says Rappaport, a clinical psychologist and author of The Family Gathering Survival Plan. "It is amazing how often we spend time with family at the holidays only to find that the same conversation seems to take place year after year," says Rappaport. "We should use the holidays as a chance to strengthen our connections, simply by paying attention to what is important in each other's lives."
Rappaport's nuts-and-bolts ideas for strengthening the family holiday experience? Turn off the cell phones, computers and pagers, take a group walk, maybe even wear a tie to the dinner table if you don't normally do so, and resolve to make it a day for connecting with one another. "Formal attire seems to have the capacity to set the occasion apart, as holidays are intended to do," he says. "And something as simple as creating a tradition of a family walk can force people into conversation. It is difficult to change behavior, particularly when it's part of our personal and family histories. But holidays give us extended opportunities to talk, play, solve problems and venture into new terrain with those we cherish."
Home for the holidays
On top of the immediate respite from final exams, most college students relish the holiday break as a period to catch up with hometown friends, find out who's still dating and visit all their old haunts--plans that don't include an after-Christmas brunch at Grandma's house. Fitting family into the holiday schedule can be a challenge for students and a frustration for parents who are feeling slighted, DiMino says.
"These issues should be negotiated before the student comes home," he says. "Students feel a normal need to reconnect with friends when they're home, and parents may be upset and perceive that their child doesn't find family time important. But both sides need to be willing to compromise."
Parents and children should understand that some family functions are more important than others and plan accordingly. Thanksgiving dinner, for instance, takes precedence over a mid-December gathering for coffee. "Families need to remain flexible and not rigidly plan everything. Communicating expectations is essential. The true focus on the holidays should be what you and your family value as spiritually or emotionally important. In trying to be all things to all people, families often lose sight of what the holidays are all about."
Holiday foods
Maybe tofu turkey won't do for Grandpa or Aunt Mary, but, as more and more people eschew eating meat for moral or health reasons, family cooks are apt to think even more carefully about what they serve on their holiday tables.
That's a trend away from how humans have historically eaten, says Shipley, a food psychologist. "People have shared meals for as long as they have cooked, and they would generally eat the same foods," says Shipley, who teaches an undergraduate course on the psychology of food. "Rules of what one can and cannot eat have historically served to keep groups together and separated from others. In part, that's because what one eats has moral implications about the eater."
While family chefs have more challenges than years ago, menus still don't vary much--and that's by design, says Shipley. "Holiday meals tend to be the same from one year to the next. Mostly, that's because having the same foods brings back emotional memories of earlier happy occasions--happy because they were likely childhood memories and happy because the foods eaten during the holidays contain chemicals that may alter moods for the better."
Time to play
Best toys for kids
Trust your instincts--and think back to the toys and games you loved best as a child--as you choose gifts for children this holiday season, says Hirsh-Pasek, a cognitive psychologist and co-author of the new book, Einstein Never Used Flash Cards: How Our Children REALLY Learn and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less.
While the toy market is flooded with high-tech "educational" toys designed to help kids get smarter quicker--and sales of those toys have skyrocketed in the last few years--the best toys for young kids generally are low-tech and allow them to foster their creativity, says Hirsh-Pasek.
"Nowadays, even the toys we select for children have the hidden agenda of making them learn," says Hirsh-Pasek. "Those expensive educational toys on the market today mostly are convergent in nature. They usually look for a single, correct answer to a problem because they are busy teaching skills. They set the agenda for the child. It's not the child figuring out what to do next. It's the device that decides. Children need to develop the ability to stimulate themselves. That is part of play."
Some of the best toys for preschoolers? Books, blocks, clay, Play-Doh, puppets, balls, simple puzzles, dress-up clothes, finger paint, dolls and other basics that allow them to explore their world--and be in charge of their play, says Hirsh-Pasek.
Staying fit during the holidays
Thanksgiving signifies the start of fitness hell, a five-week marathon of unabated gorging and missed workouts culminating with a resolution to drop those 15 extra pounds in the New Year. To make January promises more realistic, Wilkinson suggests creative solutions to keep trim during the holidays.
One of her favorite tricks is to bring the gym to the mall: "Think of shopping and those laps through the mall as a form of exercise. Park in that dreaded last spot. It may be a hassle with all those packages, but it'll make you healthy."
The same theory applies for at-home shoppers, Wilkinson says. "Maximize your time on the treadmill. Take a catalog with you so you can be shopping and sweating at the same time."
With family time a premium during the holidays, Wilkinson argues that family and fitness can be perfect partners. "If you know you're going to be visiting family and away from the gym over the holidays, modify your routine now to include equipment-free exercise. That way, when you go to visit family, all you'll need to pack is a pair of running shoes. Buddy up with a family member and schedule a workout appointment. That will give you one-on-one time with that person that you might not get otherwise, and you'll be getting exercise, too."
Holiday movies
For many families, a day at the movies has become as much a part of the holiday tradition as trimming the tree. Moviegoers thirsting for epic, holiday blockbusters will not be disappointed this winter, as many of the big studios trot out their Oscar contenders, like the final installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Russell Crowe's Gladiator-meets-high-seas vehicle Master and Commander, and the Civil War drama Cold Mountain.
The glut of epic pictures comes as little surprise to Gumery, who attributes the larger-than-life depictions to the tone of the day. "Since the advent of cinema, audiences have turned to the epic as an escape from the real world," he says. "Escapism in difficult times has been the key--whether it was Birth of a Nation around WWI or the classic musicals of the Depression era extolling 'We're in the money,' when few actually were. Epics offer us good versus evil, and seeing good triumph in times of national stress makes those who believe that they are on the right side feel empowered and more resolved to stay the course."
Gumery adds that bigger-is-better epics offer a greater diversion than a comedy or run-of-the-mill action flick. "The other aspect for audiences is the element of scale. It is more of a release to watch a mass battle scene in The Lord of the Rings trilogy than to see a more human and personal story that is intimate and draws on an emotional strength, which may be waning in the face of terrorism and war. It can be cathartic."
Time to shopRetail outlook
If holiday shoppers think they'll find blockbuster bargains when they head to the malls this Christmas season, think again, advises Smith, a retailing analyst with Temple's Fox School of Business. "It's not going to be a consumer heaven this year," says Smith. "There simply won't be those huge deals consumers may be counting on."
Major retailers have conservatively stocked their shelves, he points out, since most were faced with placing holiday orders at the same time as the outbreak of the war in Iraq. "The uncertainty of the war's impact on an already shaky economy has affected both retailers' and consumers' confidence." Smith's one-word answer on the holiday shopping season: "Mediocre."
Malls vs. strip malls
The revitalization of strip malls has meant big business for stores like Target, Kohl's and Wal-Mart, but the indoor shopping mall still has its place for holiday buyers, notes Lancioni, who chairs Temple's marketing department.
"Malls are meeting places, they're buying places, and they're eating places," says Lancioni. "They offer a whole lifestyle to people--with very diverse shopping options."
Mall developers have tapped into the pull of strong retailers, he says, by leasing land around shopping malls to stores like Target and Kohl's. Those anchor stores often spring up in existing but dormant strip centers, helping all of the businesses in the strip, as well as those at the nearby mall, says Lancioni.
"The dynamic now in retailing is to offer stores in groupings," says Lancioni. "One store pulls demand for another store. No longer is the stand-alone store the way to go."
Time for a changeHoliday job hunting
With an uncertain U.S. economy lurching into 2004, many out-of-work Americans could be asking Santa to leave a job offer in their Christmas stocking. But Rispoli argues that New Year employment will only come to those who help themselves during the holidays.
"Between Thanksgiving and New Year's, hiring is almost at a standstill, but there are many things you can do through November and December to prepare for a fresh start on January 1," Rispoli says. "It's a great time to do all your homework--targeting your search, reaching out to contacts and positioning yourself to enter the market immediately after the holidays."
Rispoli advises that job-seekers limit their contact calls to the middle of the week during the holiday season. "Almost all calls should be made on Tuesday through Thursday. Many people are using Mondays and Fridays for long weekends or blocking off that time to prepare for the holidays."
And the extra benevolence of an employer's holiday hangover typically equates to lively January job markets. "Budgets often kick in and hiring initiatives take precedence in the New Year," he adds. "There's almost no better time to be looking for jobs."
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