On Marrying Past 30: “Not a Princess, but Still a Bride”

Newswise — "Not a Princess, But Still a Bride," a new collection of essays edited by Adrian College English professor Dr. Carman C. Curton, challenges the common belief that women must marry before their 20s are over. Written by women who married for the first time over age 30, the book pokes gentle fun at the fairy princess stereotype at the same time it shares about some of the anxiety behind delaying marriage and/or childrearing.

The proposal for the book is currently in the bidding process with several publishers.

"Not a Princess, But Still a Bride" is the thinking woman's musings and memoirs on the wisdom gained by bringing age and experience to first-time marriages. It is a collection of essays by women " most of them not professional writers " who married for the first time past 30. The contributors contemplate with wry wit and amusing honesty the conflicts they faced when preparing for a first wedding, equipped with a little more age and experience than the typical "blushing bride" in white.

"Essentially, past age 30, most women feel that they are a little too old/mature/wise/experienced for the Cinderella-fairy tale princess get-up with an enormous billowing white dress, etc. Yet they want to have a special day for themselves that is significant to them and meets their friends' and families' expectations," Curton said. "I decided to assemble a book of writing by those women."

"Not a Princess, But Still a Bride" is an anti-backlash book. Increased opportunities and changing cultural norms have allowed many American women to make the choice to marry later in life, or not at all. However, books, articles, and broadcast news stories continue to warn women that missing the chance to marry in their 20s (or earlier) dooms them to a life without children or a husband. A flawed study in the 80s advised women that they had a greater chance of being in a highjacked plane than of marrying over 30. A bestselling book last year warned women that declining fertility would deprive them of the chance to start a family in their 30s. In "Not a Princess, But Still a Bride," women who DID choose to wait until 30 or over muse on their motives, their choices, and their outcomes. And their experiences are overwhelmingly positive.

The works in this collection tend toward the wry, the ironic, and the amusing. The writers poke gentle fun at the fairy princess bride stereotypes they are old enough and experienced enough to reject, but they are also honest enough to recognize and admit they sometimes feel anxiety about what they might have missed by delaying marriage and/or childbearing.

SAMPLE SECTION SUMMARIES:

Wedding ManifestoA mature bride declares a list of "I Don'ts" to go with her "I Do's" in front of slightly bewildered wedding guests. (The musicians are actually a little stunned and almost miss their cue!)

In a Glance You See MeReflections on the wedding portrait of a 35-year-old bride in a Renaissance gown " marriage certificate in one hand, baby in the other.

Not a Princess, But Still a BrideSomeone who has never fit the white, Disney princess-bride stereotype describes her worry and, later, her relief, that her homegrown wedding and reception aren't picture-perfect.

ABOUT THE EDITOR

Carman C. Curton, Ph.D., is an award-winning writer and researcher who has published on topics as varied as Amy Tan, Sui Sin Far, inventors, entrepreneurs, and real estate millionaires. She lives and writes with her husband and son in Adrian, Michigan, where she is an assistant professor of literature at Adrian College.

Oh, yeah, and she was married just 27 days shy of her thirtieth birthday!